


Void

by wons



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Aggression, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10324598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wons/pseuds/wons
Summary: I typed. I typed as if my life depended on it. I needed to escape this void; the emptiness in my heart. I should not, would not accept this feeling. // I started this using Jumin calls (out n in) but somewhere along the way I decided to develop the story and add my own ideas and I think (or hope) it turned out quite well ^^





	1. First Call

Only one phone call was all that it took, to end that only vague contact I had left of my past life… my memories, my… parents.

‘‘But it’ll be only a few days. Something important came up and I can’t come home,’’ I emphasized the last part, ‘’just for a few days, please.’’ But I knew, that this was their chance. Chance to get rid of me.

Arguing back and forth, I found myself now yelling at my aunt. I couldn’t handle how I was being treated. All the bottle up emotions from the last two years came forth as I kept saying how hard it has been on me too.

It must’ve been over 15 minutes since it all started but only the last few sentences were stuck in my mind. Before the other line hung up on me they said, ‘‘You’re the reason my family is miserable. I wish I never let you live with us. I’m glad you’re not coming back, and thus I’ll take this chance to throw you out myself. Don’t come back here. Ever.’’ I didn’t say anything, because it didn’t grasp that it’s actually happening. ‘‘The little stuff that you have will be sent to your parent’s little apartment. I guess that’s what you’ve wanted all along, right? As you never let us sell that old house.’’

Without saying anything else I heard the call end. I stood in one spot for what it felt like eternity but it had only gone one minute. I swallowed hard and went ahead to sit down on a chair. I put my phone on the table beside my laptop and quickly opened an empty document to write down to forget about whatever that happened. And to absolutely stop thinking about the future ahead.

I typed. I typed as if my life depended on it. I needed to escape this void; the emptiness in my heart. I should not, _would not_ accept this feeling. Therefore, the only way to temporary disappear from this world is by typing away my worries, only so I can hear my fingers pressing these different keys. It didn’t help much because this empty apartment with no sign of life made me feel even more dead.

Just as I was drifting away to nowhere with my blank mind a sudden tone snapped me back to reality. It was the phone ringing and to my surprise it was someone from the chat earlier. I picked up my phone quickly so I could distract myself even more.

‘‘Hello?... You picked up right away. It must be your first time hearing my voice.’’ Said the man behind with his deep but soothing voice. He continued giving me no space to reply, but I’m grateful because I was afraid if I speak right now my voice would betray me.

‘‘You must know from the name on your screen but I’m Jumin Han. I’m sure you’re glad to talk to me, but no need to get too excited. I only called to hear our new member’s voice, nothing else. But I will take just one question. Ask me if you have any.’’ It took me by surprise because normally wouldn’t the caller ask the person in question stuff? Or more so to me, because I was a pretty suspicious person in their eyes. Instead he’s telling me to ask him a question?

Well, so I do. Instead of asking about how he is or what he’s up to, I ask him one thing I’ve been thinking about. ‘‘How does my voice sound?’’ I let out, hoping I don’t sound as pathetic as I think I must’ve while talking to my aunt.

‘‘Do you want me to judge your voice? I didn’t want to go that much into details but… I’ll listen if you want. Talk again, slowly.’’ Jumin said.

When he asked me to say something, suddenly I couldn’t. It was strange but I suppose I was now a bit embarrassed? What a weird thing to ask someone I’m first talking to. He must think I’m weird. Therefore, instead of saying something I stayed silent.

He must have sensed how I was feeling because he said, ‘‘…Are you feeling embarrassed now?’’ What a fascinating man I thought. This is only our first phone call and only by this I am forgetting everything that happened to me earlier.

Jumin continued, ‘‘Women are so complicated. You don’t have to say anything. I’ve already heard your voice. It was only for a second, but it was nice. I’ll just put it at that. I think one question is enough.’’

And the last sentence is what I ignored because I’m interested in what he’s got to say to amuse me further but more importantly, I want to keep listening to his steady voice. Quickly not letting the conversation die I asked him, ‘‘What are you doing right now?’’

‘‘I’m on my way home. I said only one question, but you dare to ask another one.’’ I giggled quietly. He did reply to me faster than expected going against his own words, even though he followed up by reminding me I wasn’t supposed as any questions. He’s strangely adorable I thought to myself. But I tried to brush off that thought as he continued to speak. He started to speak about his cat, almost as if she was a person. I asked exactly what I was thinking and he replied with much love toward the cat. I asked him more questions, curious to know more about him.

But my train of questions stopped because of what Jumin said, ‘‘Oh, we’re already home. This was not a bad time. I must go now, so if you don’t have any other questions, I think we should end this call.’’

I knew the call had to end at some point, but my mind didn’t listen as I hurriedly said, ‘‘I-I-I do!’’

He innocently asked, ‘‘What is it?’’ To which in my flustered condition I could not think of anything. Instead my nervous mind just blurted out, ‘‘You know! God I’m nervous and I can’t think!’’

Gosh, why am I so embarrassing?

‘‘Why are you suddenly nervous?’’ said Jumin in a low husky voice different from his usual tone, which made me blush involuntary. ‘‘You are an interesting woman. Then make a list of questions before talk next time. I will answer them then. Now I must really hang up. I’ll call you when I have the chance. Bye.’’

With that the call ended.

I looked back at my computer. The screen was now black because I had not touched it for a while. Looking at my reflection I saw that I was slightly smiling and my foul emotions from before were nowhere to be found. Amused how this one call could affect me, I smiled more but a confused one this time. Nevertheless, I still felt warm.

I shut my laptop screen and walked toward the bedroom to sleep. Before closing the door, I said quietly, ‘‘Thank you, Jumin.’’ and went on ahead.


	2. I Want To See You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘‘Jumin,’’ I stopped him mid-sentence. I can’t really explain why but after hearing him, as weird as it sounds, but my heart was demanding to come out of my chest, ‘‘You’re so cute.’’

’’What are you doing right now? I just want to chat. Ask me anything.’’

It has now been a few days since I joined RFA, and to my surprise, Jumin and I have talked to each other a lot. I feel very free talking to him, as if he will never judge me and will understand me. It’s weird, but it seems like I’ve found a friend I can talk to amidst all this chaos. Sometimes he feels more than a friend.

‘‘Oh…’’ I tried to think of something, ‘‘I’m just on the phone right now and wearing comfy pajamas.’’

‘‘By pajamas do you mean those things with laces on them? We launched a female slip line a couple years ago. Among the pajamas we launched, there were some with ribbons, and if you pull on the ribbon the slip would fall off’’ He replied sounding too confident as if I was wearing that.

 _Jumin if I were in fact wearing those I most likely would not tell you!_ I thought to myself feeling myself getting hot as I was unable to think what to say. He often said things that flustered me, but the worst thing was he didn’t know what he was doing… or did he?

He continued ‘‘I assume it’s very comfortable, but if it can slip off that easily… Well, it doesn’t suit my taste.’’

‘‘Um!...’’ I said hurriedly hoping him to stop from saying anything else. Even if we’re comfortable with each other, doesn’t he know that I’m a woman? And how this can sometimes make me confused?

Sensing my uneasiness, he apologized and changed the subject. We talked for a bit about our days, his company, Elizabeth 3rd and then started talking about emotions.

Jumin who usually doesn’t show how he feels started being sentimental. It made me happy but at the same time sad about how lonely he must’ve been all this time. I want to be closer to him, but I don't know if I have any right.

He started to talk about his father. His father was in a relationship despite being married and it was effecting the company badly, and apparently, he was also forcing some decisions on his son, about which Jumin told me not to worry about. Family was a sensitive issue to me but seeing how important it is to Jumin, all I wanted was to cure him from his problems and heal his wounds, and make him happy.

He started very softly, ‘‘Since yesterday I’ve felt as if I was standing alone in a noisy but empty field. I didn’t want to talk and I didn’t want to listen. Since the whole place was surrounded with noise. But… your voice is not noise.’’

My thoughts stopped. I knew he has always said my voice calms him down, but this, right now feels different.

‘‘It’s like a warm breeze that brings out my sincerity. I wish everyone’s voice was like yours… But the world can’t be so kind. Thank you for listening to me… You are truly a fascinating person. These emotions…’’

‘‘Jumin,’’ I stopped him mid-sentence. I can’t really explain why but after hearing him, as weird as it sounds, but my heart was demanding to come out of my chest, ‘‘You’re so cute.’’

‘‘I’m cute…? Me?’’

 _‘Yes, you! Who else am I talking to’_ I rolled my eyes as I thought this.

He continued almost not believing me, ‘‘…I’ve never heard this before. I’m curious of your thought process to be able to say that. I’d like to… observe you some time.’’

Unable to control my feelings, without any warning I blurted out, ‘‘I want to see you.’’

It was as if I couldn’t be patient anymore. I think I… like Jumin more than I thought I did. I’m not sure, but right now this feeling is telling me I need to see him and hold his hand so I can warm it up. I want to see his face and feel his eyes on me. I may be getting too greedy as we have only talked for a few days, but this connection that I feel with him is indescribable. My worries of past, and present, I feel like if I’m with him I can forget them.

But the thought that Jumin may not feel the same made me nervous because he hadn’t replied me for a few good seconds.

‘‘Me too…’’ I heard Jumin say. His voice was so low and soft I had to ask what he said.

‘‘Me too. I want to see you too.’’ He replied making it clear to me, and maybe to himself too.

I felt overjoyed. He wanted to meet me too!

We both heaved a sigh of relief and I swear I could hear him chuckle.

‘‘But,’’ Jumin said, ‘‘we can’t right now. It’s too dangerous and you may be in danger if you’re not careful. If I could I’d come straight to you but I don’t know the address. Also… I’m not in the best shape right now because of everything that’s happening. I wish to show you my best side, nothing less. This loneliness inside me right now… is too pathetic.’’

‘‘But to me, every side of you is your best side.’’ I hesitated before building up my courage and continued calmly, ‘‘Jumin, I’ll accept you. You don’t have to feel so lonely.’’

On the other line, I could sense him smiling, ‘‘I’m happy to hear that. But… I don’t know. When I’m not talking with you I feel…’’ He paused, ‘‘Oh, what am I saying? I can’t believe I’m sharing my worries… Talking with you makes me act strange. I should stop. I have to go check on Elizabeth 3rd now. Excuse me.’’

With that he suddenly ended the call.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too gullible to have fallen for him just by talking to him, both on the messenger and when talking directly. If I don’t act upon my feelings now will Jumin convince himself to forget me? He seems so unsure of his feelings which worries me if he’ll return my feelings. But I’ll give him more time, it’s understandable as he’s going through so much with family and it seems his only safety bubble is vanishing, making him uneasy about whom to lean on. That feeling is that I’m most familiar with and wish for him to overcome.

But I still want to see him. Maybe I should go to his house, just as Jaehee suggested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to continue. 90% time idk what I'm typing but it's still nice :) Next ch will be Jumins point of view.


	3. I'm here

A long sigh left me making it clear how empty this big penthouse is. As I looked at Elizabeth 3rd, I saw she was still avoiding my eyes.

‘‘I’m sorry, Elizabeth 3rd, but I have no other choice than to put you in that cage. Who knows if those women- no, if my own father kidnaps you? I must keep you there for a while so please, just endure it for a bit.’’

I started massaging the front of my head with my right hand. It’s been a _long_ day. I can’t believe I, Jumin Han, am upset over these trivial things. Why can’t I seem to kill off these emotions as always. The threads in my head… they’re getting more and more tangled. The ball just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

I thought Elizabeth 3rd could see these tangled threads in my mind but… she’s just a cat. I have only just realized this, but still, if I lose her now, I might as well lose my sanity.

My mind wandered off to the one woman I have been feeling comfortable around lately. Her sweet voice always make all my tensions go away. Her kindness and understanding is influencing me more and more every day I talk to her. Her valid points, harmless questions and the way she appreciates my jokes – all of her relaxes me and excites me all at the same time. I wonder if, maybe, she’ll be able to see me? The real me? The imaginary relationship that I have with Elizabeth 3rd, will MC able to come to my life and free me from my suffocating troubles?

I shut my eyes once again, feeling the energy leave my body. I shouldn’t involve MC in this. She’s already having troubles of her own, with the hacker and RFA, I do not wish to burden her any further.

As I was getting ready to make my way to get some wine I heard the security knock the door.

‘‘Come in.’’

‘‘Sir, Chief Assistant Kang apparently sent someone. It’s someone related to RFA. Her name is MC.’’

MC…? I was surprised that I didn’t reply for a good couple of seconds. Did the security hear the wrong name? The chances of MC being here is very low.

‘‘Should I let her in?’’ he told me interrupting my thoughts.

‘‘Oh… yes.’’ I replied as I watched the woman occupying my thoughts make her way over to me.

The figure before me was of the woman whom I dreamt of recently. She looked, or rather felt more gorgeous than I’d ever imagined. Her charm was pulling me toward her making my already widened eyes to keep staring at her. Unable to stop getting sucked further into her compassionate eyes I tried to get some words out of my mouth.

‘‘I didn’t know Assistant Kang would send you. God…’’ I must give Assistant Kang a reward. Getting a hold of myself I continued, ‘‘Sorry, I just stared into your eyes.’’

She looked at me brightly, her eyes crystal clear showing I wonder is it worry? concern? for me?

‘‘Jumin… I’m so glad to finally meet you.’’

Her soft and sweet voice and just this one sentence warmed up the whole of me.

We exchanged a few more words before I told her to feel at home. When she told me she came because she was worried about me, made me want to never let her go. She was blushing though, so I wonder, or actually hope that there is more to it than only worry.

I watched as she nervously wandered around, carefully trying not to make any mistakes.

‘‘MC,’’ I called out for her, ‘‘You can ask me anything. Anytime. Don’t be shy. Whenever you talk to me it makes me happy.’’

‘‘Um...’’ MC started trying to ask me something tilting her head to the right, rising her eyebrows, biting her bottom lip lightly before continuing, it’s truly amazing to watch her, ‘‘I was just trying to look for the bathroom, or the closet or I don’t know, maybe you have a room where one changes clothes? Because I thought I should at least change to my pajamas if I’m staying the night.’’

MC paused before giving me a shy smile, ‘‘and they’re not those laces ones you thought about before.’’

I smiled at MC’s comment and kindly showed her to the closet. _She’s cute_ I thought as I went to the living room.

MC came back wearing her comfy pajamas that suited her image. _She’s really cute_ I found myself think as I tried to hide my smirk behind my finger. Truthfully, I would like to buy her more nightwear so she could look beyond cute.

‘‘Aren’t you going to let Elizabeth 3rd out? I don’t think she’s liking it.’’ MC questioned me looking at Elizabeth 3rd as she sat down next to the cage.

‘‘For now, I think it’s best if she’s in the cage. It’s pretty large so I don’t think she’ll feel too caged. It’s big enough to even fit you, MC.’’

MC gave me a nervous laugh, ‘‘But still…’’

I got near MC and got on my knees to be on the same level as her.

‘‘Well, MC if it’s you then I can trust you with Elizabeth 3rd.’’ I paused to open the cage with the key only I had. As soon as I opened it Elizabeth 3rd ran to the other side of the corner and sat there. She must be mad. ‘‘During times like this, having her inside the cage comforts my mind. If she’s in there and the key is in my hands she won’t be able to run away nor will anyone be able to take her away. I’ll have control over her and the situation.’’

MC’s eyes clearly showed pity. I didn’t feel like hearing her not understanding me and finding me strange. But her hand reached out for mine and carefully squeezed it.

‘‘Jumin, she’s been with you for years and I remember how you’ve always talked about her loving you and caring for you even if she’s a cat. I understand you worrying about her but even if she’s an animal no one would like to be trapped in one space.’’

‘‘I know. Thank you for saying this. My mind is tangled and it’s exhausting, I think it’ll take time for me to think rationally again. I… hope you will stay with me.’’ I squeezed her hand in return. She closed her eyes to reassure me and smiled.

‘‘I will not leave you alone. If I must because of something, it will _never be_ _because_ of you. I’ll tell you before if it’s anything, either call or message. But please remember Jumin, you will never be the reason to push me away.’’

I found her face getting closer to mine. She sat in her place but it was me who was unconsciously leaning toward her. As if she was pulling some sweet magic on me.

I noticed her cheeks grow slightly pink as she continued talking, ‘‘You know, I did come here because I was worried about you but it was my own selfishness too. I have been dying to see you and feel your presence next to me. The conversations on the phone seemed too distant. Now that I’m near you I don’t know what to do, but I’m happy.’’

I neared my forehead to touch hers. I closed my eyes and tried to inhale this moment to all my senses. This house that felt empty just moments ago, feels to have changed drastically. I wanted to thank her, show her how grateful I am but all I could do was smile and hold her warm hand.

‘‘MC, your words they comfort my heart. I want to know more about you, I want to know all about you. I’m so curious about you that’s it’s amazing. But I should control myself, if I don’t I’m afraid I’ll frighten you.’’

I felt her warmth leave my hand which got me worried. I furrowed my brows and probably looked scared because that’s what MC said.

‘‘Jumin,’’ both of her hands reached my face, cupping my face between her hands, ‘‘you have never once scared me, never ever. The days I have talked to you have only made me more sure about that you’ll never hurt me.’’ Her eyes showering me with love continued, ‘‘Don’t look so scared, please. It hurts me to see you like this, but I’m happy to be with you in this moment. I hope we get to share more moments and memories, both happy and sad.’’

I couldn’t get words out of my mouth because of this overwhelming moment. The woman before me is so raw and pure, it made me afraid of leaving any scars on her.

I swallowed and that was the only thing that I could hear. It was only her and me and I had long forgotten about everything else this instant. I want to kiss her. To feel her lips against mine. To embrace her and feel her warmth against my own cold body. I want her and never want to let her go.

The world in which I thought only we two lived in safely, was disturbed by a knock on the door. I coughed and got up trying to cool myself down as I helped MC get up too.

‘‘Come in.’’ It was the chief of security. ‘‘MC, I called him so I could introduce you to him. While I’m gone you can contact him if anything happens, he’ll give you full protection.’’

‘‘Don’t let in my father, or anyone else related to him. Contact me first if they try to get in. Of course, I’ll try to be at home more until everything is settled down. But give extra protection to MC and Elizabeth 3rd.’’

‘‘Yes, sir. I noticed you let your cat out.’’

‘‘Yes, for now only. I should give her food and…’’ I looked around where she earlier went and on her favorite spot on the cough but she’s not there, ‘‘Where is she? Eliza…beth 3rd?’’

‘‘Sir, I think I may have seen something white go past the door very fast but I couldn’t see clearly!’’

MC sounded concerned, ‘‘Jumin, I think…!’’

‘‘Check all the CCTVs and tell the security guards to look everywhere!’’

‘‘Yes, sir!’’ Chief of security hurried out.

‘‘Jumin, I’ll help you find her!’’

MC offered her kind help. But not now. ‘‘No, you stay here. If even you won’t stay here I’ll feel troubled. I can’t believe Elizabeth 3rd ran away from me… all my love… no, I need to go to the security room and look for her myself.’’ I sighed as new troubles washed me over, ‘‘I’ll be back with Elizabeth 3rd so please wait for me here. Alright? Don’t leave.’’

I took my phone out to make some calls. As near I got the door, I could see MCs figure getting smaller and smaller. Gosh, let this be over soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think im better with one-shots xD this slow built up is killing me lol. i can't wait to write some passionate scenes T_T


	4. I Missed You

Night skies were starting to appear and since yesterday I haven’t been able to have one relaxed moment. Sometimes I sat on the couch, sometimes I laid on the bed and sometimes I went back and forth in the living room – going over all that over and over as if in an endless loop to make my day end faster. It was impossible to stay still.

It’s been almost two days and we still haven’t found Elizabeth 3rd. I should be doing something to help Jumin find her, be more of use instead of just staying here alone.

Finding Elizabeth 3rd is the priority, it’s only then can I see Jumin sooner.

…No. What am I thinking? Finding Elizabeth 3rd is the priority because she is dear to Jumin and having lost her makes him so sad and that sadness me so miserable.

Even though I try to convince myself otherwise, deep down in my heart I know I can’t hide the truth. The moment Jumin took a step out of his penthouse, the moment I was left alone… It was the moment I started feeling lonely. This feeling that I thought I had surpassed is coming back after meeting him. There’s no one left in the world that I hold near, but the man I just met, makes me feel so weak in front of him. This feeling; it’s devastating because for him I want to be strong and not controlled by my emotions. But at the same time this overwhelming feeling is the reason I feel so alive these days. My desperation to see his face only proves to me how much he’s started to mean to me. The minute I saw him was the moment I decided that I want to protect him from this worlds evil, even my own inner evil.

My own despicable loneliness that I harbored inside me as I lived with people who didn’t care about me is now creeping back.

I want to see him.

When I heard his troubled voice on the phone it made me feel troubled, when he sounded worried it made me feel worried and when I heard sadness and loneliness it made my chest hurt. As much as he misses me, I miss him ten times more but all I can do is stay at home and wait for him.

Suddenly I heard the front door click open. The man I’ve been desperately waiting for appeared before my eyes. His eyes were tired and tie was hanging lose. His hair showed that he’d ran his fingers through them countless times which caused them to look messy.

Our eyes found each other’s and I immediately wanted to run to him to hug him, but I held myself back and put on a smile. If I looked sad as well, it would only wear him out more.

‘‘Jumin, welcome home!’’

He showed me a genuine smile despite everything, ‘‘Having you here greeting me like this really makes me happy.’’ He stepped forward in silence, now standing a few inches before me he continued, ‘‘I missed you, really.’’

Upon a closer look, it pained me to see him like this. I tucked a hair behind my ear and felt my vision starting to get blurry as I stared at him.

‘‘Why are you making such a face?’’ Jumin asked me.

‘‘What kind of face?’’ I asked him knowing too well what kind of face I was making.

Jumin brushed the back of his fingers on my cheeks, ‘‘Your cheeks are slightly pink and nose is red, and your pretty lips are curved downwards,’’ his palm now caressed my cheek so that his fingers were touching my ear and his thumb was on my cheekbone, right under my eyes, ‘‘your usually crystal clear eyes looks as if they’re ready to-.’’

Suddenly, I closed my eyes and a tear rolled down my eye. I could hear him inhale quietly and then unexpectedly I felt his lips just below my right eye.

I fluttered my eyes open.

Jumin looked concerned, ‘‘I’m sorry to make you wait. Did something happen?’’

Ah… now I’ve added more to his worries.

To assure him that nothing happened, I hugged him wrapping my arms tightly around him and pressing my head against his chest to hear his heart beat, ‘‘I’m sorry. It’s just that I really missed you.’’

He sighed and huffed a laugh. Holding me tightly in return he stroked my back, ‘‘I’m at loss for words. Really… But, thank you and me too.’’

I smiled and sighed at the same time, ‘‘Any progress at finding Elizabeth 3rd?’’

We were still hugging each other and stood in the same place.

‘‘Sadly, no. The ads are everywhere; TV, newspaper and even radio. I’ve received many calls but so far none of them have been of any help. But, we’ll find her soon.’’

I held him tighter, ‘‘Yes, we’ll find her.’’ I looked up at him, ‘‘But Jumin…’’

‘‘Mm?’’ he replied smiling down at me.

‘‘Can’t I be of any help? Like going out searching at some shelters or parks, maybe some of the neighborhood kids may have seen her and taken her? I could also help you by taking half of your phone calls if I follow you to the advertisement office. Hm, what do you say?’’

His smile faded as I ended what I had to say.

‘‘There’s no need for that. I have my guards and security doing everything. As for the calls; it’s my work so you don’t need to worry.’’

‘‘But I feel useless doing nothing to help you.’’

Jumin sounded more serious now. ‘‘You staying here is what is helping me. The hacker is still out there, we don’t know how safe you are. And if you also leave me, then…’’

‘‘I’m not leaving you, Jumin. I just want to try doing something. I wish to share your burdens, of course I understand if you’re not comfortable with that yet, but waiting here, doing nothing makes me anxious.’’

‘‘And it makes me anxious not knowing where you are, if not here!’’

I backed away crossing my arms while looking directly at him, ‘‘I understand how you feel and I don’t want to leave you but you do understand that I’ll have to go back to the apartment soon, right?’’

Almost too immediately he answered, ‘‘If you feel more comfortable there then I can rearrange the interior to make it look like Rika’s apartment. It’s a shame I haven’t seen it myself but if you tell me then I’ll change it, the most important part is that you’ll be here.’’

‘‘Jumin, that’s not that point.’’ I found my voice getting a bit louder, ‘‘I have to go back to plan for the party.’’

‘‘If that’s the case then I can help you with it. I’ve already held the party twice. I’ll send you back to Rika’s apartment before the party but wait until I contact V, I still feel uneasy about the hacker. I don’t want you to feel isolated here… but I’m scared that you will disappear forever if you leave my sight. I want to ensure your safety therefore please stay here until then.’’ Jumin continued with his calm voice, ‘‘You can do a lot of stuff here. There’s a gym, beautiful mini garden, café and restaurants, even different kind of shops. We can even go shopping. I already have in mind some dresses that would match you perfectly, a few gorgeous pair of earrings for your cute ears and you can also get your hair trimmed.’’

‘‘Jumin.’’ I interrupted him before he could continue even more, ‘‘I understand what you’re saying and I am not feeling trapped here. I came here on my own because I wanted to. Because I was, and still am worried about you and now I’m also worried about Elizabeth 3rd. But I can’t help but wonder if you’re confusing our relationship as the one you’ve had with your cat. That’s not the kind of relationship I want!’’

Jumin frowned and started getting closer to me, ‘‘Not the relationship you want? I don’t understand.’’ I could sense the tension in his voice as he spoke louder than normal, ‘‘I’m trying really hard to control myself. Today I missed you so much and was desperate to come home as soon as possible. But that doesn’t seem to be the same in your case.’’

I wanted to say that I missed him so much more than he can imagine but I was taken aback by his sudden confession and his forwardness. It seemed like whatever I say would not convey how I feel and only my angry emotions would take over.

I looked at him with eyes wide and started to form some words, ‘‘Jumin, I−‘’ In the middle of it all my stomach started making noises.

This interrupted my thought process, and then Jumin spoke after a few seconds.

‘‘MC, you haven’t had dinner yet?’’ he asked seriously.

I glanced the other way, ‘‘I’m not hungry.’’ At the same time my stomach started rumbling again. Oh, great, my body is determined to embarrass me.

Jumin heaved a sigh, ‘‘I got informed that you refused the lunch cooked by the chefs, did you possibly not eat anything at all?’’

I glanced more toward the right to avoid his gaze, ‘‘I didn’t really feel like it. I’m fine, seriously.’’

Actually, I wasn’t. I didn’t eat because I wasn’t feeling like it, but I had planned to grab something to eat together when he came home. I’m honestly hungry. But now my great ego is getting in the way because of our quarrel… if only my body obeyed my mind.

‘‘Let’s get something to eat.’’ Jumin started to walk toward the kitchen.

I replied harshly, ‘‘I said I’m fine.’’

He stopped but started walking again after grabbing my hand, but I didn’t move an inch.

I felt Jumin’s cold hand around my warm one and I instinctively squeezed it a little. Before I could look up at him and his expression, I realized that I was up in the air! Jumin was carrying me and walking toward the kitchen.

I looked up at him surprised.

‘‘My lady is quite a stubborn one, isn’t she?’’ He gently placed me on the edge of the counter, ‘‘Well, so am I.’’

He placed both of his hands on each side of the counter with me in the middle, as if to ensure that I don’t run away. His intense eyes were looking right at me, so I returned him the intense gaze of my own.

Jumin smirked, ‘‘I like that expression you have right now. It’s cute.’’ I noticed I was pouting, ‘‘Let’s just say it’s my fantasy but I hope to see more of your expressions where you want something from me. Want me. I will do whatever you want. If it’s me that you want then I will give myself to you.’’

I was feeling hot from head to toe. My face probably redder than Seven’s hair. Jumin’s quiet breathing send shivers through my back. But I couldn’t avert my eyes, because my gaze was locked with his.

After some intense moments Jumin spoke first, ‘‘I apologize.’’

In my surprise I suddenly asked, ‘‘About what?’’

‘‘Earlier I should’ve been more understanding, but I hope you understand my reasoning too.’’ He now averted his gaze and placed his head on my shoulder. ‘‘Also, I shouldn’t have raised my voice. It’s a first for me to behaved like that.’’

I was still for a moment before I exhaled all my tension. I could feel his kind warmth spreading through me and enrapturing my heart. I smiled and tilted my head so that my cheek rested on his head.

‘‘Jumin, if that was you raising your voice then what was I?’’ I joked, ‘‘But seriously, I’ve been through some stuff and you should know that your so called yelling is nothing. Besides it kind of makes me happy to know we can have little fights and then make up.’’

Jumin looked up abruptly, ‘‘You’ve been through worse?’’

‘‘Huh? Oh…’’ I laughed nervously, ‘‘It’s nothing serious.’’ I formed a smile, ‘‘Now! Should we eat? I’m starting to get hungry.’’

Jumin was still sounding serious and spoke his next words with sincerity, ‘‘You can always speak to me about anything. If something unpleasant happened to you in the past I’d always listen, possibly even punish those who’d hurt you… I want to know your happy memories too. I want to know more about you so please, never hesitate to talk to me. I’m willing to give all of me to you, my memories and my secrets. I’ll give you anything in this world. You can always be greedy with me. More and more.’’

_Jumin, how can I get greedier when I have my everything right in front of my eyes?_

I softened my expression and jumped on my feet. After holding both of his hands I said, ‘‘Okay, Mr. Han. Let’s talk more about us over dinner. First I’ll tell you a secret from my past, it is…’’ I dragged on the suspense, ‘‘that I lied to you about how I didn’t have an appetite. As soon as I got reminded of dinner, I was starving!’’

I looked up at Jumin and laughed. He chuckled in return and then kept his wide smile, ‘‘Okay, my princess, let us get something delicious and nutritious to eat.’’

-

Jumin once told me he didn’t care about the taste of his food, so it didn’t matter if it was delicious or not. But the dinner we ate was too good. I wonder if his food is always this tasty despite being this healthy, will he ever like my cooking? I shake my head at that thought, if that day comes ramen will be my savior.

Jumin refused to enter the bedroom even if I told him it was okay. Secretly, I wanted to cuddle together, sleep together and wake up together. But I guess it’s still too early for that.

I started to get ready to sleep when I heard a phone vibrate. I looked around and saw that it was my own which showed a number I’ve never seen before. I hesitated before answering wondering if I should tell Jumin. But seeing that he was busy in the bathroom I picked it up.

‘‘Hello. Who…?’’ I spoke up first.

‘‘Hello! Is this Ms. MC? I’m sorry to call this late but I’ve tried to call several times throughout the day.’’ I looked at my call history and there were indeed a few missed calls.

‘‘Yes, this is me. What is this call about?’’

‘‘I’m in charge of taking care of the residents of AH area. I’m calling because of your stuff that have been laying around for many days now. A woman left them outside the apartment door and left the key with me saying you’re the owner of these so I assumed you would take care of it. But the storehouse needs to be emptied for renovation and you need to take care of you stuff until the renovation.’’

Apartment? Woman? Is this about my old apartment? That’s right, after our fight my aunt said she’ll send back my stuff, but I completely forgot about it!

‘‘How come your telling me this now? My things have been there for a few days now. Until when do I have time?’’

‘‘I apologize for the late notice, but we we’re noticed about it this morning too. You need to take care of your stuff and key tomorrow before 4 pm. Then please contact me when you’re here.’’

I ended the call. Tomorrow is nearly impossible. We haven’t found Elizabeth and Jumin will not let me out until then. I could tell him and he can take care of it but I don’t want anyone else involved in my private matter especially when it’s not such a big deal.

If I don’t go take care of it they’ll probably throw it away or send it back to my aunt, which is the last thing I want. What should I do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah yeah i know.. no kiss?! Don't worry I'm determined to add it next chapter hoho. Btw isn't the beginning MC so desperate, it seems like she was left alone for 2 years xD Well i guess that can happen when your bae is Jumin.


	5. Hello Again

_‘‘Run boy run! This world is not made for you_

_Run boy run! They’re trying to catch you_

_Run boy run! Running is a victory_

_Run boy run! Beauty lays behind the hills ~’’_

I take a deep breath, feeling my chest getting filled with air and slowly raising up. Exhaling the saved air in my lungs, I clutch my phone and with irritation heard in my tone I emphasize on his name,

‘‘Seven!’’

I could clearly hear some suppressed laughs from the other line, but instead of listening to me he continued,

_‘‘Run boy run! The sun will be guiding you_

_Run boy run! They’re dying to stop you_

_Run boy run! This race is a prophecy_

_Run boy run! Break out from society ~’’_

My mood turning completely to pure annoyance, I tell him dead serious, ‘‘I swear I’ll run to you and tape your damn mouth if you don’t shut up right this instant.’’

This time the earlier half-suppressed laughs had gotten free and the laughs heard were loud and clear. After a few good seconds Seven finally spoke, ‘‘Ok, ok! I was just trying to have some fun while causing troubles that our RFA angel requested.’’

I roll my eyes, ‘‘I’m by no means an angel, I have no idea why you guys keep saying that.’’

I try to peek outside hoping there aren’t any of Jumin’s close security guards that’ll try to stop me. Seeing that most of the guards who have seen my face isn’t there, I step out from the elevator.

Earlier I had to be fast but it was easy to get out from the penthouse because the hall was empty, probably Seven’s doing, tricking the security with whatever false alarm he had up his sleeve.

While I walk with confidence hoping to reach the outside safely I whisper to Seven, ‘‘You’re controlling the CCTV, right? Just manipulate it for like 5 seconds and I’ll be out.’’

‘‘Roger that!’’ He replied obediently but chuckled afterwards, ‘‘Actually, I already did that and I am watching how you’re walking so slowly and looking nervous.’’ Seven fake gasped so I could hear, ‘‘MC, are you scared?’’

I snickered, ‘‘I am not!’’ but at the same time I check my surroundings and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. I picked up my speed and was finally out in the open.

Seven shouted immediately, ‘‘Woho! Once again Seven Zero Seven Defender of Justice protected the world!’’

I laughed and admitted, ‘‘Thanks! Without your help, I wouldn’t be able to take a step outside without being rushed in by the security.’’ I take a taxi and tell the driver the address and then continued talking to Seven, ‘‘I was afraid of getting caught to be honest. Jumin would’ve been furious. I owe you a big time.’’

‘‘MC, if Jumin smells something is fishy then I’ll be the first one dead. But if this mission does end up successfully, then I’ll be asking something great from you, do look forward to it!’’

I giggled and hummed in agreement. If Jumin finds out I hope he doesn’t flip out. I did leave a note at home telling him where I’m going and that he doesn’t need to worry. To be fair, I even tried to call him but to my surprise there was no reply. It never happens or at the very least he calls me back immediately. He did say he had something important to take care of maybe that’s why.

I’m glad that he didn’t answer though, I’ll probably be back even before he has returned. There won’t be any need for him to worry and I’ll take care of my business, so it’s a win-win.

After 15 minutes of chit-chat I say goodbye to Seven. I get off the taxi and look at the area I used to live in. I felt the warm breeze against my arms and looked up at the sky. It was a fine day but clouds were starting to form, warning as if it’ll rain anytime soon. Seemed like the weather was trying to adjust to how I was feeling.

The area hasn’t changed. There’s the same tall buildings, same little swings and a convenience store with possibly the same employee. Two years isn’t that long at all. Even if every minute seemed like a year to me, the world still went on at the same pace without looking back.

Shaking my head trying to get this nostalgic feeling away I started to pace towards the apartment. At the same time, I called back the number who called me last night. Luckily, the person picked up immediately and I met with him when he came out to give me my keys.

‘‘Thank you! I’ll take care of it now.’’ I tell him.

There were only two big packages that I had to take up and after taking care of that I went down to notify that it’s all done. While going back up the stairs I took my phone out. It’s been 30 minutes since I left the penthouse. There’s only one message from Seven telling me good luck and to hurry up. There’s no other chat messages or calls. Not even from Jumin. I assume he didn’t see my call yet and doesn’t know anything.

[ 10% battery left. Please recharge. ]

My phone suddenly showed me a low battery notification. I mentally scold myself for not charging it this morning. I should’ve at least brought the charger with me. For now, I decided to shut it down so I can turn it on when I’m about to go back. I should be done after half an hour or an hour at most.

Shutting the door without locking it I stretched my arms. I should get going now. I went around the little apartment to have a look if everything’s the same. The furniture is covered with white sheets which are heavily dusted by now. The rain drops playing its own song outside is making everything a bit melancholic.

I saw our family picture hanging and I smiled, ‘‘Sorry it took me two years to come back.’’ I said knowing too well there won’t be any reply. ‘‘I may have hated you guys and blamed you for leaving me alone all too suddenly but now I won’t.’’ It was selfish of me trying to lessen my pain by blaming it on my dead parents but at that time it was the only thing getting me through.

I took a cloth to clean the frame and continued pouring out words I’ve kept inside me, ‘‘Things haven’t been that good since you guys left me but I kept going and graduated from college. Aren’t you proud?’’ I huff a laugh as I leaned where the window is, ‘‘Life holds many kinds of surprises, it can be good or bad. Recently something good happened to me. I think it is life’s way of telling me ‘I’ll let you have some rest’. As much of a weird encounter it was I still think it gifted me with some good people.’’

I placed the picture on the table and turned around to look outside the window, clouds making the earlier clear sky dark, ‘‘I thought loneliness had surrounded me and was never going to leave me, but these days the loneliness that I feel doesn’t seem like a burden but a blessing. Countless of times I have felt lonely even when I was surrounded by dozens of people, but the feeling now is different, now I have someone I long for. He makes me feel lonely, afraid that I’ll lose him but when I’m with him I’m content. I wish for him to meet you guys.’’

I feel my eyes well up but get ready to head back home. Taking out my phone and after starting it, I look at the time. It’s this late already?! I should hurry back. Just 5 seconds later my phone started buzzing nonstop. 2 missed calls from Zen, 8 missed calls from Jumin and a few messages from all the members asking me where I am.

I wipe a tear that had rolled down to my cheek and opened the private message from Seven which said, ‘‘I screwed up. You should go home. Jumin knows and he didn’t sound pleased.’’

Before I could call back Jumin, I saw Zen calling me. I picked up confused by the commotion.

‘‘Zen?’’ I called out his name, but the meaning behind it was clear to both of us. I was asking what’s going on.

‘‘Babe. Did you finally escape? Jumin was asking where you are at the chat and even called me to ask! Actually, I got worried too.’’

I bit my bottom lip feeling nervous, ‘‘It’s nothing like that. I’m fine. I didn’t get the chance to tell Jumin where I am directly, but I did leave a note at home. Now I’m not sure if he saw it…’’

‘‘That trust fund kid was sounding worried and panicked. To be honest, I kind of felt bad, but it’s not like you’re a kid or something!’’ Zen argument.

What Zen said is true, but Jumin must’ve been shocked to see the house empty, even more so now that I didn’t pick up his calls. I started to feel guilty.

‘‘Um Zen, I will call you back later. I don’t have much battery so I probably should contact Ju-’’

Startled I looked up. Under the dim light, I saw the man of the hour, ‘‘… Jumin?’’

As he entered the room I saw his worried eyes, he turned back and locked the door but when he turned his gaze to me again his eyes had turned intense, almost threatening. I couldn’t say a word but only heard Zen calling out my name over and over. The little distance between us was gone as he stood in front of me. Suddenly he grabbed my waist with his right hand while roughly pulling me toward him. It took me by surprise and made me lose my balance and the phone. It fell causing a loud thud but that was least of my worries.

I was about to call his name and explain everything but he crashed his lips with mine.

I had my eyes wide open because I was too stunned. Jumin had his eyes shut, though, mere seconds later he opened his eyes that showed a desire I’d never seen. His mouth was so warm and the touch of his lips so soft, unlike his intense gaze. He moved his free hand up to the nape of my neck and used his long fingers to tilt my head making it possible for him to take all of me.

I felt his warm tongue slide across my lower lip but not giving in I tried to back away and form some words after finally coming to my senses, but when my mouth opened to call out his name, he pressed me closer and slipped his tongue inside. He was aggressive from the get-go, savoring every inch of me and fighting for dominance.

‘‘You taste sweet.’’ Almost a whisper, but I heard it escaping his lips.

Feeling weak as the sensation started to build inside me, I let go of my resistance. I grabbed one of his forearms to keep steady, and there I could feel his strong muscles through the fabric. At the same time I traced my other hand up to his hair. I closed my eyes and kissed him back with as much passion as he did. Our tongues swirling around didn’t rest for a minute. The wetness alone made my body burn. It was sexy and desperate but in control.

Our human needs forced us to break apart and we panted heavily trying to take in as much needed air. In this empty room only our desired echoed.

Almost at an inhuman speed Jumin started to leave hungry kisses on the corner of my lips and then moved down to my jawline. Making a path of jawline kisses, he moved down to my neck. I tilted my head to give him more space to leave room for more pleasure. He trailed wet kisses down my neck, not staying at one place for too long and then he kissed all the way up to my earlobe. He took my earlobe lightly between his lips and tugged gently downwards. I felt an urge from inside to leave some embarrassing sounds but at fast pace I took off my hand from his arm and pressed it against my mouth. But it didn’t work as he used his tongue and then sucked on my earlobe causing me to moan.

My hand was on his head and fingers threaded through his hair. I grazed my nails on his scalp which caused him to growl.

‘‘J-Jumin’’ I manage to breathe out, ‘‘wait.’’

After hearing me Jumin rested his head on my shoulder, and I rested my head over his. The room had gotten darker all while we were busy with our craving. I could still hear the rain drops hitting the window glass and there were some faint ambulance sirens coming from the outside.

Placing my hands on his chest I call out his name again. He moved his head up slightly but didn’t move completely off me. Instead he used his tongue on a spot on my neck and then sucked there with his whole mouth. One last time he bit the spot gently and then lifted his head to look at me.

The sensation sent shivers through me and blurred my mind but upon seeing his face my heart swelled up. His eyes telling a story of his own, ‘‘Why did you leave me?’’ is the first thing he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an ending I'm satisfied with lmao. I'm finally play Jaehee's route and I feel like I need to scold Jumin, maybe next chapter? lol // Lyrics that Seven sang is by Woodkid from the song Run Boy Run.


	6. Filled The Void

Silence.

Voices and noises, worries and fears; all gone from before but the new ones silently hung in the air.

‘‘No!... I would never leave you.’’ I let out with all honesty assuring him.

The man before me whom I announced to love in my heart shuts his eyes and disappointedly breathes out, ‘‘… but you did.’’

One. Two.

A painful wave of guilt wrapped tightly around my heart.

When my lips started to quiver, I formed a thin line. I can’t break down yet and begin with the upsetting habit to stutter. Only with confidence can I convey my feeling to him.

‘‘I didn’t. I -’’

Interrupting me he spoke, ‘‘You. You sneaked out. Hiding from the guards, from the cameras with the help of whom? Seven, of all people?’’

Irritation was not hidden when he said that, and it could certainly be heard as he spat out another man’s name. But despite his tone and his expression, his eyes wore another emotion. I could notice that behind his unapproachable wall there was something else that wanted to voice.

So, I waited. Even if I wanted to say so much with the little I had to tell, I waited for him.

I watched him click his tongue and clench his jaw. Mere second later the wall broke down and his expression broke as well. Both of his strong hands were pressing my shoulders as if, trying to ask me something, demanding a satisfying answer.

A little whimper escaped my lips because of the solid grip, but I held my posture and looked him straight in the eye. My eyes demanding as well; his questions, curiosities and his true feelings.

‘‘I thought you would always stay with me.’’ Inhaling sharply, he continues, ‘‘We found Elizabeth 3rd so I came home earlier, but when I entered there was no one there. There was just loneliness. The panic of being left on my own only with nothing but your memories terrified me.’’

Three. Four.

The tears that I’d somehow managed to control for some time now escaped my hold.

I didn’t know that my mere existence would affect him so much. If I had not known Jumin and his past I would think his reaction is exaggerating, and considering his tangled threads I feel sorry to let this situation even happen.

Jumin loosened his hold and dropped his head down, ‘‘I can’t help but love you… You don’t have to say you love me. I will understand, believe me. You don’t have to stay forever, just be close at hand. I’ll never tie you down…’’ his last words merely a whisper, ‘‘please, don’t leave me just yet.’’

Five. Si-

Trying to stay strong by counting in my head didn’t last for long. I collapsed on my knees and the will to do anything vanished. After losing so much suddenly and being alone in this world I can’t comprehend someone liking me so much. My sobs echoed and we just stayed in the same position for quite some time.

When my sobbing decreased, I felt Jumin shift his feet and then he bent down to get on the same level as me.

He didn’t touch me nor look at me when I looked up at him. I managed to call out his name, but there wasn’t any response.

He sighed and looked at me, ‘‘I am… sorry.’’

I shook my head, ‘‘No… I’m sorry.’’

He continued, ‘‘I shouldn’t have kissed you forcefully. That’d never been my wish.’’

I added more words, ‘‘I shouldn’t have left without telling you. I never wished to trouble you.’’

Holding me gaze he said, ‘‘I must have startled you. I apologize.’’

Raising my eyebrows, I spoke honestly, ‘‘Me too! I must have worried you.’’

Both of us, as if magnets, leaned toward each other and spoke at the same time, ‘‘I’m sorry for-’’ but we stopped midways.

Amused by the situation we both couldn’t help but snicker. Our half-suppressed laughs blew the tension away.

I sniffed and realized how much of a mess I must look like. Quickly taking both of my hands, I started to wipe away my tears and clean my face. Jumin lightly held my hands and gently brought them down.

He spoke softly, ‘‘I won’t take no for an answer, but I don’t want to force you. Will you come back? To me?’’

I locked my fingers with his and spoke sincerely, ‘‘Jumin. What you said earlier, about me not loving you and you being alright with it, and so much more as if you don’t already deserve the whole world tugged at my heartstrings painfully.’’ I noticed his eyes slightly get wide.

I started to stutter thinking how lonely he must’ve been to say something so sad, ‘‘Please think more highly of yourself! You deserve all the sincere love from animals and humans, and you shouldn’t settle for anything less!’’

I built up my courage, ‘‘I love you, Jumin.’’ I saw his face flush pink and I’m sure I’m red as well, ‘‘I love you so much that I wish to stay by your side as much as possible. I realized I had strong feelings for you ever since I started to talk to you.’’ Holding his hands tighter I said, ‘‘I want to know more about you and I want to share my life with you. I wish to stay close to you and never leave you.’’

There was silence once again and I wondered if I spoke too much. He continued looking at me with surprised eyes as if I said something too shocking.

‘‘I -,’’ he managed to cough out, ‘‘I don’t know what to say. Your warmth and affection is something I’d never think was possible for someone like me. RFA, Rika, my own dad and everyone in my life have always treated me as some insensitive robot, but you… Gosh, I’m at loss for words.’’

Suddenly taking me in his arms he hugged me tightly and said clearly, ‘‘I love you.’’

Surprised, but feeling safe in his embrace and so incredibly happy I returned the hug.

Have I found my other half whom I possibly can call family someday?

I know there will be bickering and more of the bad stuff but at the same time we’ll overcome all of it, and the love and understanding that we’ll build will be so much worth that I look forward to it.

If it’s a life with Jumin then I’m ready for this new chapter in my life. The new chapter of **our life**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘‘I won’t take no for an answer, but I don’t want to force you.''... Adds: [The confused math lady meme] lmao. Heh, I think this is the end ~ I actually had many ideas with more drama and sweet passionate love for future chapters but I feel like this is the right time to end it. I love Jumin so much asdfghjkl I actually have 2 other fics already planned out so soon I'll hope to be more daring and put more of my imagination :P Thanks for reading. I started out very uncertain but I'm glad with what I wrote ^^ // I used Dusty Springfield's 'You Don't Have To Say You Love Me' lyrics as reference to write Jumin's dialogue. I don't listen to a lot of songs but researching songs that click well with what I want to write is a blessing.


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